Manager knows about coworkers very embarrassing behavior. Should I warn him?












2















I can't believe I'm needing to even ask this question, but here goes.



A junior coworker of mine (lets call him Hans) is pretty immature. Hans will spend over an hour at a time going to the bathroom every day. This long bathroom break added to his other bathroom breaks scattered throughout the day means he usually spends about an hour and half a day in the bathroom.



And if you're wondering, yes, I timed it. One day I got annoyed with him and thought I'd time it. Now I notice it every day when he's in the bathroom.



The problem is that Hans is paid by the hour, and he always works a strict 8 hours and then leaves to go home. Working from home is not allowed, so I know exactly how many hours he's working. He also usually doesn't finish his work on time.



I've gone a long time not discussing this with him, but I'm now wondering if I should bring it up for 2 reasons:




  1. I overheard his manager discussing how Hans is never at his desk and somebody mentioned how he's always in the bathroom. I pretended like I didn't hear this conversation. I kind of feel like as his peer, I should warn him about this. (I'd want a coworker to do the same to me).

  2. We have a decent sized office, and there is only 1 stall in the men's bathroom. (The second is under construction, and won't be available for a few weeks). This means that guys are already having to wait for a stall throughout the day, but now there is an hour block throughout the day they always have to wait. I constantly hear people grumbling.


I've casually mentioned to Hans before how he should try to limit his breaks (without mentioning I know how much time he spends in the bathroom), but he didn't really pay attention to me.



Is it appropriate for me to be blunt and bring this up to him? One on hand, it would be better if he heard it from me before he got chewed out from my manager. But on the other hand, I really don't want to have this awkward conversation with him. What is the professional thing to do in this circumstance?










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    I can't believe I'm needing to even ask this question, but here goes.



    A junior coworker of mine (lets call him Hans) is pretty immature. Hans will spend over an hour at a time going to the bathroom every day. This long bathroom break added to his other bathroom breaks scattered throughout the day means he usually spends about an hour and half a day in the bathroom.



    And if you're wondering, yes, I timed it. One day I got annoyed with him and thought I'd time it. Now I notice it every day when he's in the bathroom.



    The problem is that Hans is paid by the hour, and he always works a strict 8 hours and then leaves to go home. Working from home is not allowed, so I know exactly how many hours he's working. He also usually doesn't finish his work on time.



    I've gone a long time not discussing this with him, but I'm now wondering if I should bring it up for 2 reasons:




    1. I overheard his manager discussing how Hans is never at his desk and somebody mentioned how he's always in the bathroom. I pretended like I didn't hear this conversation. I kind of feel like as his peer, I should warn him about this. (I'd want a coworker to do the same to me).

    2. We have a decent sized office, and there is only 1 stall in the men's bathroom. (The second is under construction, and won't be available for a few weeks). This means that guys are already having to wait for a stall throughout the day, but now there is an hour block throughout the day they always have to wait. I constantly hear people grumbling.


    I've casually mentioned to Hans before how he should try to limit his breaks (without mentioning I know how much time he spends in the bathroom), but he didn't really pay attention to me.



    Is it appropriate for me to be blunt and bring this up to him? One on hand, it would be better if he heard it from me before he got chewed out from my manager. But on the other hand, I really don't want to have this awkward conversation with him. What is the professional thing to do in this circumstance?










    share|improve this question









    New contributor




    Uli is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
    Check out our Code of Conduct.























      2












      2








      2








      I can't believe I'm needing to even ask this question, but here goes.



      A junior coworker of mine (lets call him Hans) is pretty immature. Hans will spend over an hour at a time going to the bathroom every day. This long bathroom break added to his other bathroom breaks scattered throughout the day means he usually spends about an hour and half a day in the bathroom.



      And if you're wondering, yes, I timed it. One day I got annoyed with him and thought I'd time it. Now I notice it every day when he's in the bathroom.



      The problem is that Hans is paid by the hour, and he always works a strict 8 hours and then leaves to go home. Working from home is not allowed, so I know exactly how many hours he's working. He also usually doesn't finish his work on time.



      I've gone a long time not discussing this with him, but I'm now wondering if I should bring it up for 2 reasons:




      1. I overheard his manager discussing how Hans is never at his desk and somebody mentioned how he's always in the bathroom. I pretended like I didn't hear this conversation. I kind of feel like as his peer, I should warn him about this. (I'd want a coworker to do the same to me).

      2. We have a decent sized office, and there is only 1 stall in the men's bathroom. (The second is under construction, and won't be available for a few weeks). This means that guys are already having to wait for a stall throughout the day, but now there is an hour block throughout the day they always have to wait. I constantly hear people grumbling.


      I've casually mentioned to Hans before how he should try to limit his breaks (without mentioning I know how much time he spends in the bathroom), but he didn't really pay attention to me.



      Is it appropriate for me to be blunt and bring this up to him? One on hand, it would be better if he heard it from me before he got chewed out from my manager. But on the other hand, I really don't want to have this awkward conversation with him. What is the professional thing to do in this circumstance?










      share|improve this question









      New contributor




      Uli is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
      Check out our Code of Conduct.












      I can't believe I'm needing to even ask this question, but here goes.



      A junior coworker of mine (lets call him Hans) is pretty immature. Hans will spend over an hour at a time going to the bathroom every day. This long bathroom break added to his other bathroom breaks scattered throughout the day means he usually spends about an hour and half a day in the bathroom.



      And if you're wondering, yes, I timed it. One day I got annoyed with him and thought I'd time it. Now I notice it every day when he's in the bathroom.



      The problem is that Hans is paid by the hour, and he always works a strict 8 hours and then leaves to go home. Working from home is not allowed, so I know exactly how many hours he's working. He also usually doesn't finish his work on time.



      I've gone a long time not discussing this with him, but I'm now wondering if I should bring it up for 2 reasons:




      1. I overheard his manager discussing how Hans is never at his desk and somebody mentioned how he's always in the bathroom. I pretended like I didn't hear this conversation. I kind of feel like as his peer, I should warn him about this. (I'd want a coworker to do the same to me).

      2. We have a decent sized office, and there is only 1 stall in the men's bathroom. (The second is under construction, and won't be available for a few weeks). This means that guys are already having to wait for a stall throughout the day, but now there is an hour block throughout the day they always have to wait. I constantly hear people grumbling.


      I've casually mentioned to Hans before how he should try to limit his breaks (without mentioning I know how much time he spends in the bathroom), but he didn't really pay attention to me.



      Is it appropriate for me to be blunt and bring this up to him? One on hand, it would be better if he heard it from me before he got chewed out from my manager. But on the other hand, I really don't want to have this awkward conversation with him. What is the professional thing to do in this circumstance?







      professionalism colleagues






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      edited 2 hours ago









      Kilisi

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      asked 3 hours ago









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          3 Answers
          3






          active

          oldest

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          6














          You have already warned him and it appears he has ignored you.



          If you warn him again, then the manager talks to him - he may associate that as your fault and be annoyed at you.



          I had a similar situation about a more serious issue and warned a colleague ... who did not listen, eventually management fired him...



          You have been a friend and told him, stay out of it now.






          share|improve this answer































            4














            Your manager is (I hope) trained on how to have these embarrassing conversations and how to suggest a change in behavior or accommodate a medical situation. You are not trained (imagine if he suddenly revealed medical details to you) and have no authority to offer accommodations or demand a change of ways. Leave the managing to the manager and cheer up your coworker afterwards if he is left upset by the conversation.



            You've mentioned it once. Chances are others have too. At this point, the situation is not going to change due to coworker nudges.






            share|improve this answer

































              2














              Maybe give him a friendly heads up that you overheard the manager talking about it, but keep the emphasis on friendly. Generally speaking, the bathroom habits of your colleagues are none of your business so put the emphasis on him being away from the desk without bringing up the toilet.



              It's worth bearing in mind that there are medical conditions that require spending an above-average amount of time on the toilet, and the people who suffer from them generally don't want to talk about them.



              Whatever you do, don't let him know that you've been timing his breaks. That'll just make you come over like a creepy stalker and you could find yourself being the one on the receiving end of a warning over it.






              share|improve this answer
























              • +1 for mentioning "creepy."

                – Kent A.
                46 mins ago











              • Indeed. Someone was on here a few weeks ago complaining about a total weirdo who kept track of bathroom breaks. Wondering whether there's a connection. I'm also wondering whether both posts are an elaborate troll of some kind...

                – Lightness Races in Orbit
                3 mins ago











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              3 Answers
              3






              active

              oldest

              votes








              3 Answers
              3






              active

              oldest

              votes









              active

              oldest

              votes






              active

              oldest

              votes









              6














              You have already warned him and it appears he has ignored you.



              If you warn him again, then the manager talks to him - he may associate that as your fault and be annoyed at you.



              I had a similar situation about a more serious issue and warned a colleague ... who did not listen, eventually management fired him...



              You have been a friend and told him, stay out of it now.






              share|improve this answer




























                6














                You have already warned him and it appears he has ignored you.



                If you warn him again, then the manager talks to him - he may associate that as your fault and be annoyed at you.



                I had a similar situation about a more serious issue and warned a colleague ... who did not listen, eventually management fired him...



                You have been a friend and told him, stay out of it now.






                share|improve this answer


























                  6












                  6








                  6







                  You have already warned him and it appears he has ignored you.



                  If you warn him again, then the manager talks to him - he may associate that as your fault and be annoyed at you.



                  I had a similar situation about a more serious issue and warned a colleague ... who did not listen, eventually management fired him...



                  You have been a friend and told him, stay out of it now.






                  share|improve this answer













                  You have already warned him and it appears he has ignored you.



                  If you warn him again, then the manager talks to him - he may associate that as your fault and be annoyed at you.



                  I had a similar situation about a more serious issue and warned a colleague ... who did not listen, eventually management fired him...



                  You have been a friend and told him, stay out of it now.







                  share|improve this answer












                  share|improve this answer



                  share|improve this answer










                  answered 3 hours ago









                  Solar MikeSolar Mike

                  46817




                  46817

























                      4














                      Your manager is (I hope) trained on how to have these embarrassing conversations and how to suggest a change in behavior or accommodate a medical situation. You are not trained (imagine if he suddenly revealed medical details to you) and have no authority to offer accommodations or demand a change of ways. Leave the managing to the manager and cheer up your coworker afterwards if he is left upset by the conversation.



                      You've mentioned it once. Chances are others have too. At this point, the situation is not going to change due to coworker nudges.






                      share|improve this answer






























                        4














                        Your manager is (I hope) trained on how to have these embarrassing conversations and how to suggest a change in behavior or accommodate a medical situation. You are not trained (imagine if he suddenly revealed medical details to you) and have no authority to offer accommodations or demand a change of ways. Leave the managing to the manager and cheer up your coworker afterwards if he is left upset by the conversation.



                        You've mentioned it once. Chances are others have too. At this point, the situation is not going to change due to coworker nudges.






                        share|improve this answer




























                          4












                          4








                          4







                          Your manager is (I hope) trained on how to have these embarrassing conversations and how to suggest a change in behavior or accommodate a medical situation. You are not trained (imagine if he suddenly revealed medical details to you) and have no authority to offer accommodations or demand a change of ways. Leave the managing to the manager and cheer up your coworker afterwards if he is left upset by the conversation.



                          You've mentioned it once. Chances are others have too. At this point, the situation is not going to change due to coworker nudges.






                          share|improve this answer















                          Your manager is (I hope) trained on how to have these embarrassing conversations and how to suggest a change in behavior or accommodate a medical situation. You are not trained (imagine if he suddenly revealed medical details to you) and have no authority to offer accommodations or demand a change of ways. Leave the managing to the manager and cheer up your coworker afterwards if he is left upset by the conversation.



                          You've mentioned it once. Chances are others have too. At this point, the situation is not going to change due to coworker nudges.







                          share|improve this answer














                          share|improve this answer



                          share|improve this answer








                          edited 51 mins ago

























                          answered 2 hours ago









                          Kate GregoryKate Gregory

                          108k43236340




                          108k43236340























                              2














                              Maybe give him a friendly heads up that you overheard the manager talking about it, but keep the emphasis on friendly. Generally speaking, the bathroom habits of your colleagues are none of your business so put the emphasis on him being away from the desk without bringing up the toilet.



                              It's worth bearing in mind that there are medical conditions that require spending an above-average amount of time on the toilet, and the people who suffer from them generally don't want to talk about them.



                              Whatever you do, don't let him know that you've been timing his breaks. That'll just make you come over like a creepy stalker and you could find yourself being the one on the receiving end of a warning over it.






                              share|improve this answer
























                              • +1 for mentioning "creepy."

                                – Kent A.
                                46 mins ago











                              • Indeed. Someone was on here a few weeks ago complaining about a total weirdo who kept track of bathroom breaks. Wondering whether there's a connection. I'm also wondering whether both posts are an elaborate troll of some kind...

                                – Lightness Races in Orbit
                                3 mins ago
















                              2














                              Maybe give him a friendly heads up that you overheard the manager talking about it, but keep the emphasis on friendly. Generally speaking, the bathroom habits of your colleagues are none of your business so put the emphasis on him being away from the desk without bringing up the toilet.



                              It's worth bearing in mind that there are medical conditions that require spending an above-average amount of time on the toilet, and the people who suffer from them generally don't want to talk about them.



                              Whatever you do, don't let him know that you've been timing his breaks. That'll just make you come over like a creepy stalker and you could find yourself being the one on the receiving end of a warning over it.






                              share|improve this answer
























                              • +1 for mentioning "creepy."

                                – Kent A.
                                46 mins ago











                              • Indeed. Someone was on here a few weeks ago complaining about a total weirdo who kept track of bathroom breaks. Wondering whether there's a connection. I'm also wondering whether both posts are an elaborate troll of some kind...

                                – Lightness Races in Orbit
                                3 mins ago














                              2












                              2








                              2







                              Maybe give him a friendly heads up that you overheard the manager talking about it, but keep the emphasis on friendly. Generally speaking, the bathroom habits of your colleagues are none of your business so put the emphasis on him being away from the desk without bringing up the toilet.



                              It's worth bearing in mind that there are medical conditions that require spending an above-average amount of time on the toilet, and the people who suffer from them generally don't want to talk about them.



                              Whatever you do, don't let him know that you've been timing his breaks. That'll just make you come over like a creepy stalker and you could find yourself being the one on the receiving end of a warning over it.






                              share|improve this answer













                              Maybe give him a friendly heads up that you overheard the manager talking about it, but keep the emphasis on friendly. Generally speaking, the bathroom habits of your colleagues are none of your business so put the emphasis on him being away from the desk without bringing up the toilet.



                              It's worth bearing in mind that there are medical conditions that require spending an above-average amount of time on the toilet, and the people who suffer from them generally don't want to talk about them.



                              Whatever you do, don't let him know that you've been timing his breaks. That'll just make you come over like a creepy stalker and you could find yourself being the one on the receiving end of a warning over it.







                              share|improve this answer












                              share|improve this answer



                              share|improve this answer










                              answered 2 hours ago









                              Matthew BarberMatthew Barber

                              1,0002212




                              1,0002212













                              • +1 for mentioning "creepy."

                                – Kent A.
                                46 mins ago











                              • Indeed. Someone was on here a few weeks ago complaining about a total weirdo who kept track of bathroom breaks. Wondering whether there's a connection. I'm also wondering whether both posts are an elaborate troll of some kind...

                                – Lightness Races in Orbit
                                3 mins ago



















                              • +1 for mentioning "creepy."

                                – Kent A.
                                46 mins ago











                              • Indeed. Someone was on here a few weeks ago complaining about a total weirdo who kept track of bathroom breaks. Wondering whether there's a connection. I'm also wondering whether both posts are an elaborate troll of some kind...

                                – Lightness Races in Orbit
                                3 mins ago

















                              +1 for mentioning "creepy."

                              – Kent A.
                              46 mins ago





                              +1 for mentioning "creepy."

                              – Kent A.
                              46 mins ago













                              Indeed. Someone was on here a few weeks ago complaining about a total weirdo who kept track of bathroom breaks. Wondering whether there's a connection. I'm also wondering whether both posts are an elaborate troll of some kind...

                              – Lightness Races in Orbit
                              3 mins ago





                              Indeed. Someone was on here a few weeks ago complaining about a total weirdo who kept track of bathroom breaks. Wondering whether there's a connection. I'm also wondering whether both posts are an elaborate troll of some kind...

                              – Lightness Races in Orbit
                              3 mins ago










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