Manager knows about coworkers very embarrassing behavior. Should I warn him?
I can't believe I'm needing to even ask this question, but here goes.
A junior coworker of mine (lets call him Hans) is pretty immature. Hans will spend over an hour at a time going to the bathroom every day. This long bathroom break added to his other bathroom breaks scattered throughout the day means he usually spends about an hour and half a day in the bathroom.
And if you're wondering, yes, I timed it. One day I got annoyed with him and thought I'd time it. Now I notice it every day when he's in the bathroom.
The problem is that Hans is paid by the hour, and he always works a strict 8 hours and then leaves to go home. Working from home is not allowed, so I know exactly how many hours he's working. He also usually doesn't finish his work on time.
I've gone a long time not discussing this with him, but I'm now wondering if I should bring it up for 2 reasons:
- I overheard his manager discussing how Hans is never at his desk and somebody mentioned how he's always in the bathroom. I pretended like I didn't hear this conversation. I kind of feel like as his peer, I should warn him about this. (I'd want a coworker to do the same to me).
- We have a decent sized office, and there is only 1 stall in the men's bathroom. (The second is under construction, and won't be available for a few weeks). This means that guys are already having to wait for a stall throughout the day, but now there is an hour block throughout the day they always have to wait. I constantly hear people grumbling.
I've casually mentioned to Hans before how he should try to limit his breaks (without mentioning I know how much time he spends in the bathroom), but he didn't really pay attention to me.
Is it appropriate for me to be blunt and bring this up to him? One on hand, it would be better if he heard it from me before he got chewed out from my manager. But on the other hand, I really don't want to have this awkward conversation with him. What is the professional thing to do in this circumstance?
professionalism colleagues
edited 2 hours ago
Kilisi
119k67259455
asked 3 hours ago
UliUli
111
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add a comment |
I can't believe I'm needing to even ask this question, but here goes.
A junior coworker of mine (lets call him Hans) is pretty immature. Hans will spend over an hour at a time going to the bathroom every day. This long bathroom break added to his other bathroom breaks scattered throughout the day means he usually spends about an hour and half a day in the bathroom.
And if you're wondering, yes, I timed it. One day I got annoyed with him and thought I'd time it. Now I notice it every day when he's in the bathroom.
The problem is that Hans is paid by the hour, and he always works a strict 8 hours and then leaves to go home. Working from home is not allowed, so I know exactly how many hours he's working. He also usually doesn't finish his work on time.
I've gone a long time not discussing this with him, but I'm now wondering if I should bring it up for 2 reasons:
- I overheard his manager discussing how Hans is never at his desk and somebody mentioned how he's always in the bathroom. I pretended like I didn't hear this conversation. I kind of feel like as his peer, I should warn him about this. (I'd want a coworker to do the same to me).
- We have a decent sized office, and there is only 1 stall in the men's bathroom. (The second is under construction, and won't be available for a few weeks). This means that guys are already having to wait for a stall throughout the day, but now there is an hour block throughout the day they always have to wait. I constantly hear people grumbling.
I've casually mentioned to Hans before how he should try to limit his breaks (without mentioning I know how much time he spends in the bathroom), but he didn't really pay attention to me.
Is it appropriate for me to be blunt and bring this up to him? One on hand, it would be better if he heard it from me before he got chewed out from my manager. But on the other hand, I really don't want to have this awkward conversation with him. What is the professional thing to do in this circumstance?
professionalism colleagues
edited 2 hours ago
Kilisi
119k67259455
asked 3 hours ago
UliUli
111
New contributor
Uli is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
I can't believe I'm needing to even ask this question, but here goes.
A junior coworker of mine (lets call him Hans) is pretty immature. Hans will spend over an hour at a time going to the bathroom every day. This long bathroom break added to his other bathroom breaks scattered throughout the day means he usually spends about an hour and half a day in the bathroom.
And if you're wondering, yes, I timed it. One day I got annoyed with him and thought I'd time it. Now I notice it every day when he's in the bathroom.
The problem is that Hans is paid by the hour, and he always works a strict 8 hours and then leaves to go home. Working from home is not allowed, so I know exactly how many hours he's working. He also usually doesn't finish his work on time.
I've gone a long time not discussing this with him, but I'm now wondering if I should bring it up for 2 reasons:
- I overheard his manager discussing how Hans is never at his desk and somebody mentioned how he's always in the bathroom. I pretended like I didn't hear this conversation. I kind of feel like as his peer, I should warn him about this. (I'd want a coworker to do the same to me).
- We have a decent sized office, and there is only 1 stall in the men's bathroom. (The second is under construction, and won't be available for a few weeks). This means that guys are already having to wait for a stall throughout the day, but now there is an hour block throughout the day they always have to wait. I constantly hear people grumbling.
I've casually mentioned to Hans before how he should try to limit his breaks (without mentioning I know how much time he spends in the bathroom), but he didn't really pay attention to me.
Is it appropriate for me to be blunt and bring this up to him? One on hand, it would be better if he heard it from me before he got chewed out from my manager. But on the other hand, I really don't want to have this awkward conversation with him. What is the professional thing to do in this circumstance?
professionalism colleagues
edited 2 hours ago
Kilisi
119k67259455
asked 3 hours ago
UliUli
111
New contributor
Uli is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
I can't believe I'm needing to even ask this question, but here goes.
A junior coworker of mine (lets call him Hans) is pretty immature. Hans will spend over an hour at a time going to the bathroom every day. This long bathroom break added to his other bathroom breaks scattered throughout the day means he usually spends about an hour and half a day in the bathroom.
And if you're wondering, yes, I timed it. One day I got annoyed with him and thought I'd time it. Now I notice it every day when he's in the bathroom.
The problem is that Hans is paid by the hour, and he always works a strict 8 hours and then leaves to go home. Working from home is not allowed, so I know exactly how many hours he's working. He also usually doesn't finish his work on time.
I've gone a long time not discussing this with him, but I'm now wondering if I should bring it up for 2 reasons:
- I overheard his manager discussing how Hans is never at his desk and somebody mentioned how he's always in the bathroom. I pretended like I didn't hear this conversation. I kind of feel like as his peer, I should warn him about this. (I'd want a coworker to do the same to me).
- We have a decent sized office, and there is only 1 stall in the men's bathroom. (The second is under construction, and won't be available for a few weeks). This means that guys are already having to wait for a stall throughout the day, but now there is an hour block throughout the day they always have to wait. I constantly hear people grumbling.
I've casually mentioned to Hans before how he should try to limit his breaks (without mentioning I know how much time he spends in the bathroom), but he didn't really pay attention to me.
Is it appropriate for me to be blunt and bring this up to him? One on hand, it would be better if he heard it from me before he got chewed out from my manager. But on the other hand, I really don't want to have this awkward conversation with him. What is the professional thing to do in this circumstance?
professionalism colleagues
professionalism colleagues
edited 2 hours ago
Kilisi
119k67259455
asked 3 hours ago
UliUli
111
New contributor
Uli is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
edited 2 hours ago
Kilisi
119k67259455
asked 3 hours ago
UliUli
111
New contributor
Uli is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
edited 2 hours ago
Kilisi
119k67259455
edited 2 hours ago
Kilisi
119k67259455
edited 2 hours ago
Kilisi
119k67259455
119k67259455
asked 3 hours ago
UliUli
111
New contributor
Uli is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 3 hours ago
UliUli
111
asked 3 hours ago
UliUli
111
111
New contributor
Uli is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
Uli is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Uli is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
add a comment |
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
You have already warned him and it appears he has ignored you.
If you warn him again, then the manager talks to him - he may associate that as your fault and be annoyed at you.
I had a similar situation about a more serious issue and warned a colleague ... who did not listen, eventually management fired him...
You have been a friend and told him, stay out of it now.
answered 3 hours ago
Solar MikeSolar Mike
46817
add a comment |
Your manager is (I hope) trained on how to have these embarrassing conversations and how to suggest a change in behavior or accommodate a medical situation. You are not trained (imagine if he suddenly revealed medical details to you) and have no authority to offer accommodations or demand a change of ways. Leave the managing to the manager and cheer up your coworker afterwards if he is left upset by the conversation.
You've mentioned it once. Chances are others have too. At this point, the situation is not going to change due to coworker nudges.
answered 2 hours ago
Kate GregoryKate Gregory
108k43236340
add a comment |
Maybe give him a friendly heads up that you overheard the manager talking about it, but keep the emphasis on friendly. Generally speaking, the bathroom habits of your colleagues are none of your business so put the emphasis on him being away from the desk without bringing up the toilet.
It's worth bearing in mind that there are medical conditions that require spending an above-average amount of time on the toilet, and the people who suffer from them generally don't want to talk about them.
Whatever you do, don't let him know that you've been timing his breaks. That'll just make you come over like a creepy stalker and you could find yourself being the one on the receiving end of a warning over it.
answered 2 hours ago
Matthew BarberMatthew Barber
1,0002212
+1 for mentioning "creepy."
– Kent A.
46 mins ago
Indeed. Someone was on here a few weeks ago complaining about a total weirdo who kept track of bathroom breaks. Wondering whether there's a connection. I'm also wondering whether both posts are an elaborate troll of some kind...
– Lightness Races in Orbit
3 mins ago
add a comment |
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3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
You have already warned him and it appears he has ignored you.
If you warn him again, then the manager talks to him - he may associate that as your fault and be annoyed at you.
I had a similar situation about a more serious issue and warned a colleague ... who did not listen, eventually management fired him...
You have been a friend and told him, stay out of it now.
answered 3 hours ago
Solar MikeSolar Mike
46817
add a comment |
You have already warned him and it appears he has ignored you.
If you warn him again, then the manager talks to him - he may associate that as your fault and be annoyed at you.
I had a similar situation about a more serious issue and warned a colleague ... who did not listen, eventually management fired him...
You have been a friend and told him, stay out of it now.
answered 3 hours ago
Solar MikeSolar Mike
46817
add a comment |
You have already warned him and it appears he has ignored you.
If you warn him again, then the manager talks to him - he may associate that as your fault and be annoyed at you.
I had a similar situation about a more serious issue and warned a colleague ... who did not listen, eventually management fired him...
You have been a friend and told him, stay out of it now.
answered 3 hours ago
Solar MikeSolar Mike
46817
You have already warned him and it appears he has ignored you.
If you warn him again, then the manager talks to him - he may associate that as your fault and be annoyed at you.
I had a similar situation about a more serious issue and warned a colleague ... who did not listen, eventually management fired him...
You have been a friend and told him, stay out of it now.
answered 3 hours ago
Solar MikeSolar Mike
46817
answered 3 hours ago
Solar MikeSolar Mike
46817
answered 3 hours ago
Solar MikeSolar Mike
46817
answered 3 hours ago
Solar MikeSolar Mike
46817
46817
add a comment |
add a comment |
Your manager is (I hope) trained on how to have these embarrassing conversations and how to suggest a change in behavior or accommodate a medical situation. You are not trained (imagine if he suddenly revealed medical details to you) and have no authority to offer accommodations or demand a change of ways. Leave the managing to the manager and cheer up your coworker afterwards if he is left upset by the conversation.
You've mentioned it once. Chances are others have too. At this point, the situation is not going to change due to coworker nudges.
answered 2 hours ago
Kate GregoryKate Gregory
108k43236340
add a comment |
Your manager is (I hope) trained on how to have these embarrassing conversations and how to suggest a change in behavior or accommodate a medical situation. You are not trained (imagine if he suddenly revealed medical details to you) and have no authority to offer accommodations or demand a change of ways. Leave the managing to the manager and cheer up your coworker afterwards if he is left upset by the conversation.
You've mentioned it once. Chances are others have too. At this point, the situation is not going to change due to coworker nudges.
answered 2 hours ago
Kate GregoryKate Gregory
108k43236340
add a comment |
Your manager is (I hope) trained on how to have these embarrassing conversations and how to suggest a change in behavior or accommodate a medical situation. You are not trained (imagine if he suddenly revealed medical details to you) and have no authority to offer accommodations or demand a change of ways. Leave the managing to the manager and cheer up your coworker afterwards if he is left upset by the conversation.
You've mentioned it once. Chances are others have too. At this point, the situation is not going to change due to coworker nudges.
answered 2 hours ago
Kate GregoryKate Gregory
108k43236340
Your manager is (I hope) trained on how to have these embarrassing conversations and how to suggest a change in behavior or accommodate a medical situation. You are not trained (imagine if he suddenly revealed medical details to you) and have no authority to offer accommodations or demand a change of ways. Leave the managing to the manager and cheer up your coworker afterwards if he is left upset by the conversation.
You've mentioned it once. Chances are others have too. At this point, the situation is not going to change due to coworker nudges.
answered 2 hours ago
Kate GregoryKate Gregory
108k43236340
edited 51 mins ago
answered 2 hours ago
Kate GregoryKate Gregory
108k43236340
answered 2 hours ago
Kate GregoryKate Gregory
108k43236340
answered 2 hours ago
Kate GregoryKate Gregory
108k43236340
108k43236340
add a comment |
add a comment |
Maybe give him a friendly heads up that you overheard the manager talking about it, but keep the emphasis on friendly. Generally speaking, the bathroom habits of your colleagues are none of your business so put the emphasis on him being away from the desk without bringing up the toilet.
It's worth bearing in mind that there are medical conditions that require spending an above-average amount of time on the toilet, and the people who suffer from them generally don't want to talk about them.
Whatever you do, don't let him know that you've been timing his breaks. That'll just make you come over like a creepy stalker and you could find yourself being the one on the receiving end of a warning over it.
answered 2 hours ago
Matthew BarberMatthew Barber
1,0002212
+1 for mentioning "creepy."
– Kent A.
46 mins ago
Indeed. Someone was on here a few weeks ago complaining about a total weirdo who kept track of bathroom breaks. Wondering whether there's a connection. I'm also wondering whether both posts are an elaborate troll of some kind...
– Lightness Races in Orbit
3 mins ago
add a comment |
Maybe give him a friendly heads up that you overheard the manager talking about it, but keep the emphasis on friendly. Generally speaking, the bathroom habits of your colleagues are none of your business so put the emphasis on him being away from the desk without bringing up the toilet.
It's worth bearing in mind that there are medical conditions that require spending an above-average amount of time on the toilet, and the people who suffer from them generally don't want to talk about them.
Whatever you do, don't let him know that you've been timing his breaks. That'll just make you come over like a creepy stalker and you could find yourself being the one on the receiving end of a warning over it.
answered 2 hours ago
Matthew BarberMatthew Barber
1,0002212
+1 for mentioning "creepy."
– Kent A.
46 mins ago
Indeed. Someone was on here a few weeks ago complaining about a total weirdo who kept track of bathroom breaks. Wondering whether there's a connection. I'm also wondering whether both posts are an elaborate troll of some kind...
– Lightness Races in Orbit
3 mins ago
add a comment |
Maybe give him a friendly heads up that you overheard the manager talking about it, but keep the emphasis on friendly. Generally speaking, the bathroom habits of your colleagues are none of your business so put the emphasis on him being away from the desk without bringing up the toilet.
It's worth bearing in mind that there are medical conditions that require spending an above-average amount of time on the toilet, and the people who suffer from them generally don't want to talk about them.
Whatever you do, don't let him know that you've been timing his breaks. That'll just make you come over like a creepy stalker and you could find yourself being the one on the receiving end of a warning over it.
answered 2 hours ago
Matthew BarberMatthew Barber
1,0002212
Maybe give him a friendly heads up that you overheard the manager talking about it, but keep the emphasis on friendly. Generally speaking, the bathroom habits of your colleagues are none of your business so put the emphasis on him being away from the desk without bringing up the toilet.
It's worth bearing in mind that there are medical conditions that require spending an above-average amount of time on the toilet, and the people who suffer from them generally don't want to talk about them.
Whatever you do, don't let him know that you've been timing his breaks. That'll just make you come over like a creepy stalker and you could find yourself being the one on the receiving end of a warning over it.
answered 2 hours ago
Matthew BarberMatthew Barber
1,0002212
answered 2 hours ago
Matthew BarberMatthew Barber
1,0002212
answered 2 hours ago
Matthew BarberMatthew Barber
1,0002212
answered 2 hours ago
Matthew BarberMatthew Barber
1,0002212
1,0002212
+1 for mentioning "creepy."
– Kent A.
46 mins ago
Indeed. Someone was on here a few weeks ago complaining about a total weirdo who kept track of bathroom breaks. Wondering whether there's a connection. I'm also wondering whether both posts are an elaborate troll of some kind...
– Lightness Races in Orbit
3 mins ago
add a comment |
+1 for mentioning "creepy."
– Kent A.
46 mins ago
Indeed. Someone was on here a few weeks ago complaining about a total weirdo who kept track of bathroom breaks. Wondering whether there's a connection. I'm also wondering whether both posts are an elaborate troll of some kind...
– Lightness Races in Orbit
3 mins ago
+1 for mentioning "creepy."
– Kent A.
46 mins ago
+1 for mentioning "creepy."
– Kent A.
46 mins ago
Indeed. Someone was on here a few weeks ago complaining about a total weirdo who kept track of bathroom breaks. Wondering whether there's a connection. I'm also wondering whether both posts are an elaborate troll of some kind...
– Lightness Races in Orbit
3 mins ago
Indeed. Someone was on here a few weeks ago complaining about a total weirdo who kept track of bathroom breaks. Wondering whether there's a connection. I'm also wondering whether both posts are an elaborate troll of some kind...
– Lightness Races in Orbit
3 mins ago
add a comment |
Uli is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Uli is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Uli is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Uli is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
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